She told me she had trouble running. Was afraid that the boobs might slap her face. I told her they’d make good in any strip bar.  Hilarity ensued.

I asked her if she wanted to have my professional opinion on her breasts. In order to get a free pro consult, all she had to do was unbutton on her shirt. From a man’s POV, she was very boobilicious.

Anyone called for inspection?

“But that wouldn’t be good enough”, she replied. “It wouldnt be an accurate one if it doesnt include the very important part of the rating called feeling.”

“Well I use all my 5 senses to make a good rating, eyes is the first of them “, I insisted.

“Yeah but it’s part of the job. U have to feel them at least. Lick them. Smell them.”

“Hmm, see but looking at them comes first.The licking and smelling comes afterwards.”

“I thought feeling them comes second?”

“As long as seeing them comes first, I dont care about the rest of the order but that’s just my professional opinion.”

“Then we should try a different approach blindfold you and make you rate them by using the other senses.”

I was open to that idea. I mean why the fuck not.

“You feel like evaluating them tonight ?”

“My hands are free so why not…”

“I dont only need  your hands. That wouldnt be  accurate enough. I need your entire focus.”

“Ofcourse , I am sure the rest of my body is available too.”

“It would be funny to blindfold you. I bet U’d hate losing control…”

We talked threesomes too. Maybe next time, her friend would be interested she said….

But he had a problem according to our employer. His dutch wasn’t good enough according to them. I looked around and listened to the people around me. Most of them made grammer errors when talking. But they had a friendly voice. So did the Converter. So what exactly is the problem? I don’t really know.

They were all scared of him at work. With his 199 centimetres of brain and brawn he was quite an intimidating presence. Especially when he got up for lunch or something. People would look at him with fear in the eyes. And I suppose that when he gets angry, that you better hope that you run faster than Carl Lewis.

He told me, after I quit the job post to go back to being an editor, that he got pestered by several people. Supervisors and people who were ranked higher in the company.

“Man, they kept me at work and forced me to tell what I had been doing all day long on the phone. I had to explain in great detail, while the others could just go home.”, he told me with some degree of annoyance and disappointment in his voice.

“I don’t why either”, I replied. I didn’t really know what he had gone through at that time.

“I got in a fight with one of the Supervisors there. What she wanted from me just didn’t make sense so I started questioning her decision. You know what she said? “Don’t question me, or you are going to be here for long. Do you get that?”. I don’t believe it. What do they have against me? I have done nothing wrong!!”

Now you do what they told ya!

His grief became more and more apparent. He felt that he was being picked on. And he is right.  That Supervisor thing was a threat. You can’t question someone’s decision? Aren’t we allowed to think for ourselves or are we just sitting there to do what is told. Any sign of criticism and you are put down? That’s not good, doesn’t make you feel welcome.  And just because you are a Supervisor doesn’t mean you can threaten your co-workers or pull rank when you are supposed to explain why you made such a decision. And make it clear that it is your decision.

Then there was his team manager.  The guy from Hell. That’s what they say about him behind his back. He is tough but he has a sales conversion rate of 15%. The highest on the workfloor so you need to be tough.  Ofcourse you want to maintain that. Doesn’t mean you have to be a bitch. Or make everyone else your bitch. There are more humane and social ways in my opinion.

“I was talking on the phone when The Guy From Hell came sitting next to me and started to listen in. You know, just to see how I handled things.  During one of the conversations, he started to butt in while I was still talking. What the fuck man?? Can’t he see that I am talking on the phone.”

Assertive as he is, immediately after the conversation he glared at the Team Manager.

“Can’t you see I am talking on the phone? We could have discussed this after the conversation is over between me and the client. I do not want you to butt in every time. It’s very very annoying you. Do you understand that?”

“Well I was only trying to improve things for you.”

“Do it when I am off the phone. Not during.”

While he was telling his story about his final days at work, we ate a sandwich.

“Why do they pick on me, man?”

“I don’t know. Some people just are like that. Showing off their so called superiority hiding their insecurities behind a facade.”

“Really?”

“Yes, really.  They just try to compensate for their own deficits. Quite annoying really, especially when you are on the receiving end. Personally I can’t stand it. I find it repelling and anti social. I do you like playing the Angel of Retribution. But since we don’t work there anymore it is pointless to think of retribution. So how did you leave?”

“Well one day I called the office and said: I am calling to tell you that I quit.”, he said.  “After that I told them about my situation at work and they said that they would look into it. It was absolutely not normal according to them and they would make some phonecalls to the Personnel Management offices. Haven’t heard anything all yet. And I could care less. It’s not a job worth fighting for anyway.”

“I see, well I sorta left after I had to wimper off the woman who’s sister had cancer. I don’t really understand why commercial interests goes before the health of people. Furthermore I had to bullshit a lot of people on the phone. I could never give them real answers but only vague ones. Selling them shit, like extra subscriptions they don’t really need at all. It’s stuff like that put me off.  As soon as they said Web Editor I said yes. I do miss the fine looking women at work.”

“Hehe yah, there were some fine ones.”, he said.

He still hasn’t heard anything from the offices yet. I doubt that he ever will.